Monthly Archives: December 2010

What I learned about rape from Wikileaks

During this scandal, I learned several new things about rape.

I learned that if you have done something brave and heroic in your lifetime, you are incapable of rape and it’s obviously a government conspiracy. That’s because priests obviously never sexually assault people. Neither do teachers, cub scout leaders, swimming instructors, camp counselors, computer programmers, police officers, or other people in high profile positions of authority. It just never happens, right? Look- if everyone thinks a guy is a ‘good guy’ then what the fuck else do you need, right? We shouldn’t take these claims seriously and review evidence in a court of law because everyone *knows* a good guy when they see them. That’s why rape is just so unheard of in our modern times.

Women need to just shut the hell up if someone *did* invade their body because their autonomy and life just aren’t as important any way. Look, the men are talking about vital life-altering topics. All of this blither-blather coming from the kitchen about cocks in holes they’re not supposed to be in isn’t going to do anything to help put an end to the real problems of the world.

The CIA is actually solely operated by feminist bloggers. This is why the US government takes rape claims very seriously.


All of that aside, I don’t know if a rape did occur. I don’t know and neither do you. I do know that the overwhelming majority of rapes go unreported. I know also that it is simply standard practice to do everything possible to discredit accusers, put their lives in danger, and treat them horribly for the very audacity of speaking up about a very real, true, and common crime. I know that human beings are complex; that we are capable of great good and great evil within our lifetimes. No singular act defines any of us and yet we’re all very content to operate under that belief. I support Wikileaks because I support the fight against corruption and injustice. It is because of these beliefs that I also support the right of any individual to begin the process of justice for a crime committed against them.

Frankly, I am astonished that more people are willing to put on a tin foil hat and claim that all of this is an elaborate conspiracy rather than something far simpler. One of the reasons I think this? BECAUSE I’VE ACTUALLY READ THE DOCUMENTS IN WIKILEAKS. If you’re such a staunch supporter of Wikileaks, I’m going to assume that you’ve read the documents you value so highly and noticed that these documents don’t reveal that the governments of the world are evil geniuses. They’re just assholes with a massive budget. Even if Assange is guilty AND convicted AND rendered unable to continue with this project I hope that other people will step up and continue his great work because we do need to be reminded to keep researching our opinions and keeping our leaders in check.

All of our leaders.



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International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers

Fleas dream of buying themselves a dog, and nobodies dream

of escaping poverty: that one magical day good luck will

suddenly rain down on them–will rain down in buckets. But

good luck doesn’t rain down yesterday, today, tomorrow, or

ever. Good luck doesn’t even fall in a fine drizzle, no matter

how hard the nobodies summon it, even if their left hand is

ticking, or if they begin the new day with their right foot, or

start the new year with a change of brooms.

The nobodies: nobody’s children, owners of nothing. The

nobodies: the no ones, the nobodies, running like rabbits,

dying through life, screwed every which way.

Who are not, but could be.

Who don’t speak languages, but dialects.

Who don’t have religions, but superstitions.

Who don’t create art, but handicrafts.

Won’t don’t have culture, but folklore.

Who are not human beings, but human resources.

Who do not have faces, but arms.

Who do not have names, but numbers.

Who do not appear in the history of the world, but in the
police blotter of the local paper.

The nobodies, who are not worth the bullet that kills them.

-Eduardo Galeano, “The Nobodies”


“The Nobodies” is a great poem because it reminds you that every culture has a caste system. There are words for  “high society” and the “bad part of town.” There are different words we use for the way people in power speak, act, and dance and there are different words for the culture of people with access to fewer resources. There are people whose deaths are investigated, there are those who aren’t even considered human on a homicide report. There are people we allow to go missing. There are some people with lobbyists to change inconvenient laws while others rely on public defense for crimes that hurt no one at all.

“Nobodies” are people in many different kinds of professions all of whom suffer at the hands of injustice because of the common misconception that truth lies somewhere between an assailant and a victim. On December 17th we remember those who have fallen. These are people who never got to see justice because their bodies reside in shallow graves on road sides, in pieces, or beaten recognizably. I’m of the mind that there is no such thing as a disposable human. There is no one out there who does not deserve equal protection under the law, who does not deserve the wages for their work, who does not deserve safe work environments.

To all of my fallen colleagues, friends, and family: you are missed, even if we never met. The world never did function the same way without you here. RIP.

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Is “My Girl Fund” a Scam?

I briefly joined MyGirlFund out of curiosity. There are a lot of web cam sites out there right now but this model was different. The women on the site make money from conversation sharing, photograph exchange, and naturally video chats as well. My Girl Fund even required that the models on the site hold up a sign with their screen name to help verify their identity. As someone who does deal with a decent amount of photo theft, I valued this.

I’m not going to say whether or not My Girl Fund is a scam, but I can speak to the fact that the people behind the show act in a very paranoid manner.


For good consideration and as an inducement for to its website members, the members hereby agree not to directly or indirectly compete with the business of MGF and its successors and assigns during the period of membership and for a period of two years following termination of membership and notwithstanding the cause or reason for termination. Member acknowledges and agrees that these terms and conditions are reasonable as to scope and duration.

The term “not compete” as used herein shall mean that the member shall not own, manage, operate, consult or be employed in a business substantially similar to or competitive with, the present business of or such other business activity in which the Company may substantially engage during the term of membership. Specifically, competing means owning or working for a business of the following type: Cash payments to Models, delivered via funds raised over the Internet or another medium.

The member acknowledges that shall or may in reliance of this agreement provide the member’s access to trade secrets, inner-website workings, customers, and other confidential data and good will not available to the general public. The members agree to retain said information as confidential and not to use said information on his or her own behalf or disclose same to any third-party.

This non-compete agreement shall be in full force and effect for two years, commencing with the member termination date. Terms of Service


This came into play for me because I registered, not surprisingly, as Maggie Mayhem. Why? It seemed like another opportunity to connect with fans. The rules clearly states that I could not post any links, so I didn’t. No links. This wasn’t enough for the website as I was told that I had to choose another name. Mine was “too easily searchable” and it would be “too easy for users to locate and communicate with me outside of the site.” They were worried that I would utilize this fancy network of potential customers and run off into the hills with them leaving MGF and their profit margin behind.

I didn’t post any links. The webmaster kindly offered to pick a new name for me. I told him to delete my account. Then I decided to do a little more research about MGF. Oddly enough, there was very little out there about the website. Given that MGF insists on being so insular, models aren’t posting too many links or stories back to the website. I did stumble upon this comment on a message board for “ballers” which revealed some startling information:

As a part of my investigation, I read the faq section and the terms of service. Hidden in the terms of service I discovered that the men could have MGF record their web cam sessions for one credit. Credits can be purchased at a rate of 50 credits for $62 or $1.22 per credit. If fewer credit are purchased, the rate can go up to as much as $1.80 a credit. If a man does wish to record the web cam session, the credit he purchases it for goes NOT to the woman but to the website. That raised a few more doubts about MGF in my mind. Credit are used for a few things on MGF but primarily for messages. If you send a message to a woman, it deducts one credit from your bank.

Since men paid a premium for the credits and the website implies that a credit is analogous to $1, I thought that the women would get $1 for each message (credit) sent their way. Since I’ve learned never to assume anything, I asked how much a woman received for a message. The answer was 65 cents, not the $1 I expected. MGF gets a cut of the money on BOTH ENDS of the transaction. If I were to buy credits on average for $1.22 each and the woman receives 65 cents, that mean the women get only 53% of the money while MGF gets 47%. The women do the hard work of coaxing men and MGF gets FORTY-SEVEN PERCENT of the money. It gets worse if fewer than 50 credits are purchased. At the highest credit rate of $1.80, the women only gets 36% and MGF gets 64%. SIXTY-FOUR PERCENT to MGF. I pointed out the $1.22 fact out on my profile and a few women messaged me thinking that men purchased the credits for $1 each since they received only 65 cents for them. Apparently some of them weren’t happy to discover this.

Read more:

The author of the comment claims to have been kicked off of the website. Looking at the TOS regarding privacy, we can see that all communications (including video) are recorded in order to make sure that all laws and TOS are being followed. Now every website records everything you do. That’s part of how it works. There is a line between a high functioning website with a lot of media on it and a paranoid fear of dissent. It’s a page out of the Suicide Girls play book to boot people for their concerns and observations rather than actually addressing them. While I’m pretty damn out of the closet as a performer, there are a lot of girls who do cam because it’s such an over-saturated market that it would be unlikely to be outed at a later date in life. Mind you, I said unlikely, not impossible. To record every single one of your online cam sessions with hopes of finding a future senator or beauty queen is an arduous task. Furthermore, how could you really identify someone that well from a cheap low resolution web cam anyway?

At any rate, there are definitely a number of girls who have been banned from the site for minor offenses relating to having an internet life off of MFC. Whether or not these guys are scammers, they are doing a decent impression of douche bags. Although they do try to stir up some good publicity, anyone who says that a cam site selling chat, pics, and video is about ‘friendship’ then I believe we have two different editions of the dictionary. It is a relationship, it may be very friendly, but it is a business relationship and not a personal one.

At any rate, that was my brief touch with MGF. There are certain things I am willing to give up but my name is not one of them. Let’s all countdown until they try to make me take this blog entry down.



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Songs About Sex (80s Style)

Sex (I’m a…) by Berlin was such an incredible song. This song always pumps me up when I want to get sexually creative. Fantasies are discussed, roles are reversed, gender gets fucked with, and everyone is having a grand ol’ time.

Along time ago a doctor moved to a small town nestled at the foothills of Mt. Wilson. He found the setting quite accommodating to sufferers of tuberculosis and so he built was was to be a sanatorium of sorts. With a tremendous budget, he built this sanatorium in the fashion of a grand Italian Villa. No expense was spared. Sadly, bureaucracy got in the way and he never did open the establishment to patients. At his death, he left it to an order of nuns and a Catholic school for girls was opened on the premises. It was a very small school with only a few hundred young women in attendance.

I was one of those girls.

In my high school days, this building was a common filming location for many Los Angeles studios. If you can consume American Media, you’ve caught some glimpses of it. The students never got to interact with the building too often but this was where all of our Winter Formal dances were held. To be honest, I don’t know why they didn’t hold *all* of our dances there. This place was infinitely prettier than the hotel ballroom where prom was held. At any rate, “I touch myself” by the Dyvinyls filmed their music video where I went to school so I’m attached to it not simply because it’s a kick-ass song about female masturbation but also because THAT’S MY ALMA MATER!

Remember when rockstars were rockstars because they rocked and not because of their jeans size? Debora Iyall, the lead singer of Romeo Void, had an awesome voice and an interesting sound. Also: they formed in San Francisco. “Never Say Never” is another awesome song about sex because she croons with such sensual condescension that you really do want to deliver what you know she’s expecting.

Joan Armatrading as a name may not ring any bells for you, but she delivered such a complex song about power with some great pipes in “(I love It When You) Call Me Names.” And she rocked. It’s a tricky song to analyze because of the subtle power shift in the middle of the song. As someone who likes rough sex with all kinds of reciprocal name calling, it’s a fun song to blast before a night out at the dungeon.

Obviously, these aren’t the only great picks of the decade. What are some of your favorites?

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Can HIV be Cured?

In 2007, an HIV+ patient began treatment for Leukemia which included stem cell transplants. At the end of a long and grueling treatment with relapses from cancer remission, the Berlin patient has been declared HIV- by his medical team.  When I first heard about this case in 2007, I was skeptical. Many people on ARV’s (antiretroviral therapies) will have undetectable levels of HIV causing many scientists to question whether or not HIV is contagious in these situations. When it comes to HIV, most people tend to prefer the “better safe than sorry” approach. It’s easy to follow that logic on an individual level, but when this is the cultural norm it stunts our understanding of how this virus actually works and inhibits our ability to reduce risk for everyone. When we brush theoretical risk factors too broadly, we limit our data. There are still so many boogeyman tactics still being used in HIV prevention that are simply not backed up by science.

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Superheroines You Never Met

Before the Watchmen movie was released, there was another potential show about what happens to superheros after they retire. In 2001, a pilot for a TV series called Electra Woman and Dyna Girl was presented and rejected. Although we’ll never find out more about the superheros who attended UCLA, we’ll always have this clip to remember. “They don’t pay to save the world, honey, the money is in endorsements…and my ex-husband took off with my bank book, my car, my good vibrator, my wigs…”

Truer words have never been spoken.

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The Eclectic and the Erotic

If you’re interested in strange foreign art films about blindness and yarn dolls, check out this amazing movie. The sexy-times start around 3:30 into the film but it’s short so sit back and watch it all. Warning: this video features lots of snow, shabby country chic furniture, and voyeuristic bears wearing scarves who have both the capacity for love and vengeance.

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