Monthly Archives: December 2012

Shut Up It’s Time For Troma

Reasons Why I Love Troma

  • Independent sleazeball films by people who LOVE movies and HATE evil corporate soul sucking overlords make me wet.
  • Gender anarchy
  • Gratuitous violence and gore that will make you laugh
  • Totally offensive
  • Anti-insitution
  • Hella leftist
  • Totally gross
  • Way more complex than meets the eye
  • Makes me want to make more movies
  • Reminds me to have fun while living and to call out the assholes
  • Weird sexual shit happening all the time
  • Brilliant! Brilliant! Brilliant!
  • Well help filter out who your real friends are.
  • Continue reading


Filed under film, Netflix Recs


2012 was something of a wild year.

In January, Ned and I were proud to be a part of the SOPA blackout and we took down our websites in opposition. I’m really suspicious of anti-piracy efforts and I really believe that it’s more effective to brainstorm new ways to provide art and erotic content to interested media consumers. I am also terrified of web censorship and legislation that empowers corporate entities and not internet users.

February was a crazy wild month! I was at Yale and Princeton! I performed in San Diego, I spoke at BIL. I was on a panel with Gail Dines.

In March I was burned out and went hiking and jerked off for awhile recuperating from severe wipeout.

April was a very special month for me because I did some top secret paperwork that was really special. It was also the Feminist Porn Awards and our website was unable to process any credit card payments because Visa banned us for sacrilegious content. Rosaries in my vagina were too much for them. We made it a free porn weekend and set up a mirror to maintain the images and appease Visa.

In May I did some awesome traveling to Los Angeles and the Yucatan Peninsula. I also picked apart dominatrix shaming in ‘sex positive’ critique. I still don’t think that a lot of people comprehend what it means to exist outside of the law, especially in a post Prop 35 world. In this month, a beloved former employer of mine was stabbed to death in Santa Cruz, CA. I used to work at Camouflage as a college student. Her loss was sudden, tragic, and inexplicable. It was a shocking blow and my love is so deeply extended to her husband and to the Camo team both past and present who were touched by her life. I also spoke at FarmHouse Conf which I really enjoyed.

In June I proudly supported Kink Live models who spoke out about bad faith business practices by Kink.Com and shared some of my correspondence with the CEO that didn’t match what he had been sharing with the press. I also moderated a panel about 2nd generation non-monogamy with Ned and his family at Open SF.

July was sadly the month when Hollie Stevens passed away from breast cancer. She was a baller.

August was another month with a loss, this time taking my awesome cat Floozie. She had been a rescue kitty and was a brilliant and sweet Siamese-Tortie. I adopted her because she attempted to stow away in my purse. She slept right next to me on her first night in my apartment and snuggled up every night. She got her name from sitting on everyone’s lap. I also called out Maymay, a vocal critic with great ideas and very abusive tactics. This was an awkward process and I stand by my words. Fetish model Natali Demore also passed away in a shocking and tragic manner.

In September I talked about why I gave up shaving for a bold disco bush. I also spoke at Arse Elektronika which is an awesome, awesome sex and tech fest. I also was part of the Keynote Plenary at Catalyst Con.

October was my birthday month. I turned 28 very, very quietly and without fanfare. I also mused on what goes into sex worker activism.

In November we did some voting things. Prop 35 passed, striking fear into the hearts of sex workers through the state of CA and in many other states as well. CA sets a lot of legal precedents so I imagine we’re going to see similar legislation pop up in other places.

So far in December I’ve been supporting Ned through his physics qualitative exams and proudly celebrated his success. He is now a PhD candidate, not far from becoming Dr. Mayhem. I’ve also been keeping up with literary and political study.

I appeared in three films this year, Fast Girls, Fixed Gears and a G Spot and Female Ejaculation Edu-porn both directed by Madison Young as well as Strap It On by Filly Films directed by Lily Cade. I made multiple appearances at The Crashpad and did lots of work with Meet The Mayhems. I also got busy and really, really low budget dirty over at Extra Lunch Money where you can book me for private erotic shows, custom videos, and dirty texting.

In 2013:

I’ll be at SxSW with the PSIgasm! I’ve enjoyed getting out of the sex bubble to explore humanism, entheogens, broader philosophical ideas, direct political action, and esoteric thought. I really want to meet people in other strange and weird settings to share my ideas about the eroticism of alien abductions, anti establishment sex work, mental health, sensible drug policy and more. I’m really hoping to hear from people who would like to meet me and swap ideas.

I’ll be looking forward to travel and I’ll also be planning a wedding. This has been something I’ve been very shy about but it has been wonderful news for awhile. We Mayhems are very much in love and we’ve been hoping to celebrate. I think a lot of people over estimate how much money is in our wallets and we don’t have a lot. It’s a largely bohemian existence we live in queer porn but it’s filled with love and optimism. We’ve really enjoyed sharing our sexuality and relationship model with others. In some many ways, I married him in my heart when we worked together in Haiti. We don’t have a conventional relationship but that’s for the birds–we’ll take love and Mayhem any day.

I’ve been saving my pennies to put together a reception for friends and family but things will probably be very moderate. My concerns are ambiance, good food, good jazz, and good wine. I’m not terribly worried about a dress and right now I’m sporting then ring my grandfather gave my grandmother. It’s very old so sizing it has been a struggle and it’s missing a few stones. Still, I don’t see the need to rush out and put more diamonds into the world.

It’s been a very exciting year and although this year did have a number of painful losses, it was also a year of tremendous love and growth. I think I would have felt more despair and less success without my partner by my side. I’m a very small Mayhem with a shoe string budget and a lot of big dreams. I’ve been excited by the oppportunities presented to me for progress. I think I’m learning to write better and my speaking engagements are more diverse and strong.

Thanks to everyone for the love and support they’ve offered. I really am looking forward to getting to know more of you and to keep branching out into new and exciting fields of thought.


I am excited about booking and publishing offers and always appreciate tokens of appreciation from my wishlist. Thanks for reading!


Filed under About me

Anarchists & Zines

street grafitti reading 'exercise empathy' on a light pole

So out in Oakland I made my way out to the East Bay Anarchist Book Fair which was a nice treat for a rainy day. I really value talking about social resistance and sharing literature and music and words with one another. The Humanist Hall in Oakland was the hosting venue who are tolerant hippies ready to take on the manarchists and chain smoking in the back.  It was also nice to match some faces to names and to get to re-know a friend I from college. It was strange and wonderful to realize that Laika Fox and I were taking our clothes off in Rocky Horror way back in the day. There’s something supremely awesome about crossing paths again and realize that political wheels in the mind can also be directed into swiveling hips and shaking tits.

This was a cool spread and I really do enjoy being in far left spaces. A lot of this material is niche and harder to find because it doesn’t have mass distribution. It’s true that you can access most of these ideas and many of the zines and books online but it’s also really empowering to create a space to see that others are browsing, too. I picked up books on anarchist queers, I bumped into a Syringe Exchanger that I met years ago at an HIV test training. I had been the one to roleplay his first practice positive test disclosure to and I was the intimidating one who had already been doing it for a long time. I remembered him instantly. I was so proud that he was still fighting the good fight. I totally love and support syringe exchange and overdose prevention and naxolene distribution. Sensible drug policy, to me, has always included overdose prevention as a part of first aid and CPR training. This should be integrated into all of our emergency care models.

Bash Back & Self Defense

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Filed under activism, community, culture, feminisms, politics, queer