Category Archives: at home

Fancy Hippie Coffee


I am a coffee fiend. I grew up with parents who had long since ditched their automatic coffee maker for the very sexy Chemex hourglass and the sounds of beans grinding in the morning cued the start of the day. Fresh coffee and fresh orange juice helped me get my day started and old habits die hard. Forgive me, I am a coffee snob.

Coffee is a sacred substance in many cultures and it’s amazing how industrialized it is in the US. Most of us need the caffeine more than the fruit of a coffee tree. Preground tins are a staple of American living and we all know the Folgers jingle by heart. Diner coffee is pretty much an institution onto itself. We’ve also seen gourmet chains dotting the streets offering sugary drinks and endless disposable cups. Meanwhile, coffee snobbery and fine cafes are popular in urban centers and hipsters have declared the barista a spiritual leader. Coffee, however you take yours, is a cornerstone of life here in the US. Here is one of my favorite methods of making fancy coffee for myself or friends at home.

Please note: I rarely use measuring cups when I’m cooking. Your mileage may vary for taste, preference, and ingredient availability.

(Spices can be finely pre-ground from the store or fresh and coarsely ground with a mortar and pestle or spice grinder)
Vanilla pods
Cocoa nibs
Coffee beans

Coffee grinder
Spice grinder/mortar and pestle
Coffee maker of choice
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Filed under at home, behind the scenes, culture, hippie

Photo Post


The Mayhems:

Our apartment had a mold situation “blossom” out of control. It pretty much ate up our lives and health. Let me tell you: Black Mold is awful! It made us sick, probably killed our cat Floozy, was a disaster for everything we owned, and we were kinda homeless for awhile looking for a friendly place for us and our (surviving) cat and dog. We did valiant battle against mold and junked most of our belongings and found new lodging.

We also presented the PSIgasm at South by Southwest . I was profiled at Nerve. Appeared at Naughty Natural.  Went to Merida, Mexico in the Yucatan. I also stopped by the Products are Hard conference in San Francisco.  I’m also still trying to plan a wedding party. Talk about stress city! It’s been a hectic month and it took a lot out of us. It was great to see Texas and Merida even if it meant having last minute cancelled flights, blizzards, lost baggage (TWICE!!!!), hotel fires, travel snafus, and other insanity.

Enjoy the photos and I’ll be working on writing some insane bullshit for you all to enjoy.

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Filed under About me, at home, behind the scenes, Photos, Pics, pictures

Mayhem Loves: Oakland Museum

Black Panther print on display at the Oakland Museum

I love the city of Oakland. Certainly not its leadership and definitely not the corporate entities and banks squatting on vacancies and keeping property value low to ease the growing pains of gentrification, and the violence that comes with poverty and oppression can certainly be scary. What I love are the people, the revolutionary spirit, the diversity, and the sheer amount of culture exuded on any given day or block in town regardless of the grit that surrounds it.

The Oakland Museum Of California has impressed me very much with its sleek and social justice oriented curation in all its exhibits from natural history to its rotating galleries. Although it is a small museum in comparison to San Francisco’s incredible offerings, the Oakland Museum has an edgy heart and one hell of an eye for design. In many ways, it’s the same reason why I’m a huge devotee of the Oakland Airport over the horror show of SFO. I go for small but packed full of a proper punch.

Huey P. Newton on trial for murder at the Alameda County Courthouse in Oakland across the street from the museum.

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Filed under About me, art, at home, community, culture, hippie, oakland

Happy Hippie Beauty Secrets

A very happy hippie.

The beauty industry is a lot of bullshit and you should check up on who you’re letting fuck your pores.

I’m a big fan of science and there’s lot of science innovations that are totally awesome for health and happiness and I don’t want to dismiss anything outright but one thing that’s important to remember about the word “industry” is that it usually means that money flows up to the top of a hierarchy that is usually a lot of rich white dudes whose motivations are to make more money, not to help you on your path to happiness. What they shill might be helpful or beneficial but when push comes to shove, the dollar they can make means more than you.

People in sex world know that phthalates are really bad for your health. We’ve smelled out gassing jelly toys and some of us may have felt the hot burning poker effect of a cheap shitty toy that apparently just expired by becoming an agent of chemical toxicity rather than an instrument of pleasure.

Well, phthalates are also in a lot of cosmetics. This is because phthalates  esters of phthalic acid that create a “plasticized” effect. They make the jelly toys bendy and soft, they make your foundation smooth. They allow for flexibility or transparency. Phthalates are actually in TONS of our products and in many ways I’m really glad that the sex toy activists started raising alarms about them in toys before the sex toy industry really grew to a monolith like the cosmetics industry. Sex toys were considered novelties with  really limited runs and few retail outlets because they were pretty much illegal (and are still treated as tenuously legal in a handful of American states). When I think of tangible things achieved by sex positivity, it was really strong messaging about phthalates that I would say has been much more successful than similar campaigns in other industries.

You would still be considered a “hippie” if you started asking for phthalate free cosmetics but you would be considered an uninformed consumer if this wasn’t on your mind while strap-on dildo shopping and you would run into a chorus of voices to pass on the good word.

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Filed under activism, at home, behind the scenes, community, culture, feminisms, harm reduction, hippie, opinion, sciences

Ode To My Dog

Folsom and Maggie in a tent

My dog is good at articulating her problems to me and they are easy to solve and this is a reason why we have a good relationship.

People have very complex problems with things like money and poverty and racism and classism and transphobia and erasure and homophobia, and misogyny and transmisogny, and foreclosure. If you think about it too long, well, sometimes you think dark thoughts about a love affair with Molly Tov. No, no, far better to be a paranoid pacifist like me. I’ve spent my times at the front lines of protests. I’ve had my eyes wide in horror at police beating hippie students in front of me. I went to work at a hospital where an appendectomy cost about $13 USD and was still unaffordable to a lot of people in Tanzania. I dream now of living somewhere out in the boonies, quite frankly. Perhaps a break from people. A camping trip.

When I’ve been an asshole and skipped out on giving my dog a proper walk for a few days, she will usually eat something of mine. I often like to assign symbolic meaning to something she has destroyed. What else can I do when it’s totally destroyed and I really need to just hit myself with a newspaper and take my dog on a nice 5 mile walk and stop being a self-obsessed idiot with my people problems and internet machine and get outside and clear my head with some good jazz and a breeze.

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