Category Archives: behind the scenes

Fancy Hippie Coffee


I am a coffee fiend. I grew up with parents who had long since ditched their automatic coffee maker for the very sexy Chemex hourglass and the sounds of beans grinding in the morning cued the start of the day. Fresh coffee and fresh orange juice helped me get my day started and old habits die hard. Forgive me, I am a coffee snob.

Coffee is a sacred substance in many cultures and it’s amazing how industrialized it is in the US. Most of us need the caffeine more than the fruit of a coffee tree. Preground tins are a staple of American living and we all know the Folgers jingle by heart. Diner coffee is pretty much an institution onto itself. We’ve also seen gourmet chains dotting the streets offering sugary drinks and endless disposable cups. Meanwhile, coffee snobbery and fine cafes are popular in urban centers and hipsters have declared the barista a spiritual leader. Coffee, however you take yours, is a cornerstone of life here in the US. Here is one of my favorite methods of making fancy coffee for myself or friends at home.

Please note: I rarely use measuring cups when I’m cooking. Your mileage may vary for taste, preference, and ingredient availability.

(Spices can be finely pre-ground from the store or fresh and coarsely ground with a mortar and pestle or spice grinder)
Vanilla pods
Cocoa nibs
Coffee beans

Coffee grinder
Spice grinder/mortar and pestle
Coffee maker of choice
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Filed under at home, behind the scenes, culture, hippie

Photo Post


The Mayhems:

Our apartment had a mold situation “blossom” out of control. It pretty much ate up our lives and health. Let me tell you: Black Mold is awful! It made us sick, probably killed our cat Floozy, was a disaster for everything we owned, and we were kinda homeless for awhile looking for a friendly place for us and our (surviving) cat and dog. We did valiant battle against mold and junked most of our belongings and found new lodging.

We also presented the PSIgasm at South by Southwest . I was profiled at Nerve. Appeared at Naughty Natural.  Went to Merida, Mexico in the Yucatan. I also stopped by the Products are Hard conference in San Francisco.  I’m also still trying to plan a wedding party. Talk about stress city! It’s been a hectic month and it took a lot out of us. It was great to see Texas and Merida even if it meant having last minute cancelled flights, blizzards, lost baggage (TWICE!!!!), hotel fires, travel snafus, and other insanity.

Enjoy the photos and I’ll be working on writing some insane bullshit for you all to enjoy.

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Filed under About me, at home, behind the scenes, Photos, Pics, pictures

2013: A New Year

Here are some photos from Christmas 2012-January 2013. I’ve been soooooo busy. Ned and I drove from Oakland all the way up to Seattle, WA for the holidays. It was an 800 mile journey. Folsom came with us and got to see both snow and sliding glass doors for the first time. We used AirBnB for our road trip accomodations and we were really, really thrilled. I would so much rather share my money with an individual than some shitty chain hotel company. It’s a fun way to get to know people AND we were also happy to meet people who didn’t mind our very energetic and enthusiastic mastiff/lab in their homes. Have I told you all lately how much I LOVE peer to peer interfaces and software?

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January 28, 2013 · 1:36 pm

Happy Hippie Beauty Secrets

A very happy hippie.

The beauty industry is a lot of bullshit and you should check up on who you’re letting fuck your pores.

I’m a big fan of science and there’s lot of science innovations that are totally awesome for health and happiness and I don’t want to dismiss anything outright but one thing that’s important to remember about the word “industry” is that it usually means that money flows up to the top of a hierarchy that is usually a lot of rich white dudes whose motivations are to make more money, not to help you on your path to happiness. What they shill might be helpful or beneficial but when push comes to shove, the dollar they can make means more than you.

People in sex world know that phthalates are really bad for your health. We’ve smelled out gassing jelly toys and some of us may have felt the hot burning poker effect of a cheap shitty toy that apparently just expired by becoming an agent of chemical toxicity rather than an instrument of pleasure.

Well, phthalates are also in a lot of cosmetics. This is because phthalates  esters of phthalic acid that create a “plasticized” effect. They make the jelly toys bendy and soft, they make your foundation smooth. They allow for flexibility or transparency. Phthalates are actually in TONS of our products and in many ways I’m really glad that the sex toy activists started raising alarms about them in toys before the sex toy industry really grew to a monolith like the cosmetics industry. Sex toys were considered novelties with  really limited runs and few retail outlets because they were pretty much illegal (and are still treated as tenuously legal in a handful of American states). When I think of tangible things achieved by sex positivity, it was really strong messaging about phthalates that I would say has been much more successful than similar campaigns in other industries.

You would still be considered a “hippie” if you started asking for phthalate free cosmetics but you would be considered an uninformed consumer if this wasn’t on your mind while strap-on dildo shopping and you would run into a chorus of voices to pass on the good word.

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Filed under activism, at home, behind the scenes, community, culture, feminisms, harm reduction, hippie, opinion, sciences

On Confrontation

I didn’t know how to write my last post. The person behind it has been “a pain in the ass” to a lot of sex positive, kinky, poly, and other individuals in the sex world. It’s also leached out into his other social arenas. Most people think he’s a problem and when someone is relegated to “douchebag” status, people tend to just roll their eyes when serious violations are spoken about. I didn’t know if it was ‘drama’ to mention that I was romantically involved with this individual and that in their “activist” quest, they had someone attend a sex party I hosted and openly blogged what they perceived to be my failures–which amounted to the kind of body I have–and then detailed what I did during a sexual demo. I do know that I’ve considered him dangerous for awhile and the long version of the actual confrontation can be found here. I will post screencaps of the conversation as well.

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Filed under About me, behind the scenes

Beware Of Self-Appointed Saviors

It’s been a bad month in the Fetlife zodiac. Fetlife is a social networking site for kinksters and perverts. It houses discussion groups, hookups, events, and endless ranting. I don’t go often but I’m increasingly picky about any message boards or social hubs. “Don’t Read The Comments” includes websites dedicated to commenting. The party might be fun at first but it all takes a harrowing turn and you start to see the things that drove Nietzche mad.

Here’s one problem of Fetlife: Deification. Every social scene from model trains to modeling naked on trains has the tendency to forge a social hierarchy of some kind. What constitutes an alpha will vary from culture to culture and what this proves to us is how stupid our rules are regardless of whatever bullshit we try to put on top of it. John Baku started a website for kinksters, kinksters rallied and named him a king of kink land for his digital prowess. In theory, he created great unity in the many tribes of perverts and perhaps greater social progress could be cultivated in a new website.

There is a sexual assault allegation against John Baku from a night that might as well be considered a major group fail. It starts with a fail: he gets off a plane and is heralded as a king. It no doubt felt spectacular to have other members of the pervert Mt. Olympus greet him and give him much wine and mead, indeed. And he got fucked up in one of those embarrassing ways that many of us can still recall like a bruise in our cerebrum. He gets taken to a dungeon for more fail: he shouldn’t have been brought and he should not have been admitted and anyone who was present that night would agree. He was brought downstairs and then was surrounded by a crowd of people ostensibly keeping him out of trouble but in effect were conjuring it.

He was drunk, he got grabby, and a bunch of people decided not to call it out or cause a fuss about it at the time because, well, it was the exact reason why the whole situation was a problem from square one and we hate being reminded of things like that. The person who was assaulted had to register a few thoughts in quick succession: that there was someone clearly heralded as the selected alpha for the night and they got out of line and moreover people knew but decided that they should just let it go to keep the peace, to take one for the team.

That is not our decision to make. We do it often.

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Filed under About me, behind the scenes

Recently, In Pictures

Make sure to click on the photos! They will take you somewhere that has more information about what is being depicted. 

Maggie with Nina Hartley

Me with Nina Hartley! I was a speaker at Open SF, a conference on non-monogamy. Nina was representing the Woodhull Sexual Freedom Alliance. They are a lobbying group that does amazing work.

Maggie by a graffiti mural

I did a photoshoot for an event in San Francisco and on the way home I quickly posed near a major SOMA mural that caught my eye.

Ned poses with the mural

Ned was also a part of the photshoot! We are the Mayhems, we often travel as a pair.

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Filed under About me, activism, behind the scenes, Photos, Pics, pictures