Category Archives: self promotion

Link Love


Bawdy Storytelling Photos by Neuoptik Photography

Masters of psychedelic art: My household growing up had a lot of Peter Max and I always enjoyed the bright tertiary colors and flowing lines. Not surprisingly, art that appeals to someone tripping also appeals to kids. Although a lot of folks might want to decry this genre because of its illicit associations there is a tremendous amount of skill and theory applied here. It’s worthy of study and appreciation in all states of consciousness. It’s also had a massive impact on popular art since its inception.


No fap isn’t a challenge, it’s a way of life.” As a logical counterpoint to Reddit’s constant stream of ‘fap material’ is a forum of young men dedicating their time and energy to not fapping as a new take on the old idea of preserving masculinity by abstaining from masturbation.


100% Men is a Tumblr dedicated to depicting companies and corporatations whose leadership is 100% male.


The Mysterious Island Of The Dolls in Mexico is creepy and compelling to look at.


Men should read Hegel before dating is a short video from the coming documentary “Monogamy and its Discontents.”


High school student calls out Pam Stenzel for slut shaming. Her school principal is a total tool with bad ideas on educating teens who engages shaming behavior of his own. Wellesley welcomes their incoming student after the debacle over Twitter. I wrote about Pam Stenzel in 2009 after bearing a grudge from having to watch her horrible “Sex Has a Pricetag” videos in junior high and high school. Pam Stenzel is a lying liar who lies to teens about sex. She makes students feel bad about themselves and their sexuality. May she be known for what she is. I wrote about Stenzel in 2009.


Salvador Dali’s wife Gala was known as the “demon pride” and is said to have outdone him with her own set of sexual perversities, megalomania, and lust for cash.


The Revolution Will Not Be Funded is an anthology that questions the impact of the non-profit industrial complex on enacting social change. I think it’s crucial to consider this and I’ve certainly had my own clashes of this nature.


The Mating Octopus in photos. For all you cephalopod lovers out there.

ImageTriptychs by Mattie Brice explores labels and labeling through the lens of gaming and other personal identifiers. As always, she’s brilliant voice in the gaming community and radical bloggers at large.



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Filed under About me, comedy, community, culture, events, maggie mayhem, Photos, Pics, pictures, publicity, self promotion

Upcoming Events!

Photo By Shilo McCabe

Hello Mayhemites!

This post is all about the upcoming Catalyst Conference, a very sexy circus, and some projects that need your votes for SXSW and OffBeatr. Voting is free so lend your support and read on to find out what all of this madness is about!

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Filed under About me, self promotion

Porn And Accessibility: Call For Transcribers

When Ned and I started Meet The Mayhems, we wanted to make a porn website that reflected our sexuality on our terms and was welcoming and accessible to our desired audience. We believe that accessibility is vital but with a two person team running the entire show from the back to the front we’re far from perfect. Accessibility is about a lot of different things all at once and there is no finite finish line of accessibility. It is a never ending process and we put in our work to check our own perspective/privilege and consider the needs of different people who might be on the hunt for the erotic content we enjoy making.

On a technical level, accessibility is about making sure that the website itself is viewable to people with a diverse array of operating systems, browsers, and internet connection speeds. Between the two of us, there’s still a lot of work to be accomplished on that front. Often times it is work that you may not see because your OS, browser, and connection makes everything 100% visible, clear, and relatively easy to navigate. That’s awesome! We also want to make sure that someone with different resources can also get there and to do so means staring at hundreds of lines of code to identify glitches and broaden our technical accessibility.

Keywords and vocabulary are another part of accessibility. Even if the video or photos are super sexy and hot to a given audience, the language associated with the content might be a major turn off to some folks. While we are fully aware that no matter what we do, the art and science of attraction means that we won’t ever be able to get everyone off sexually. We also want to keep our language in check to make sure that we aren’t using language abusive to experiences that are not our own. It’s a fine line to walk: we have to contend with the likes of the anti-porn legions who believe that depicting a naked and sexual woman is oppressive in and of itself and as well as legitimate criticisms about our own blind spots.

One area we want to put time and effort into it is closed captioning for anyone who would like to know what is being said but cannot hear it for whatever reason. Sometimes our sound sucks because we don’t have external microphones, sometimes having the sound on is a liability to your porn watching, and some folks hear sound differently or not at all. We are looking for volunteers to help transcribe our porn. We’re looking for just a few people to help us out on this front because we don’t have very much yet but we will be putting out lots of new content.

If you want to check out our porn and can lend a hand writing down the dialogue word for word, send us an email: We’ll set you up with a lifetime membership to the website in exchange for your hard work. For those who have a name they would like credited, please let us know. If you have your own website or blog we’ll help get you setup with an affiliate account as well if you’re interested. Thanks for your interest and pass on the good word!

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Filed under publicity, self promotion, sexuality

Woman’s POV

I keep Feynman close to my heart and tits.

Have you checked out The Woman’s POV?

Madison Young and Maxine Holloway teamed up to create a website designed to titillate and arouse the body and mind with erotic play of the female gaze. They also have a set of ethics behind their smut:


The Woman’s POV is dedicated to the authentic documentation of female pleasure and orgasms. We realize the power of orgasm and plan on changing the world one climax at a time.

We are devoted to showing diversity in female identity, the expression of feminine sexual desire, diversity of body types, as well as a wide spectrum of sexual and gender identities.

We are devoted to empowering women and creating safe space for exploration of sexual desires and fantasies by handing women in our community the camera. Its time to turn on the camera and get turned on.

We are dedicated to obliterating body shame and sexual negativity through realizing and documenting of our sexual desires and our sexual culture.

We are ready to reclaim the term pornography and recruiting YOU and YOUR LOVER/S and FRIENDS to pick up the camera and show us YOUR POINT OF VIEW.



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Filed under feminisms, maggie mayhem, Photos, porn, self promotion

Upcoming events!

My Bawdy Debut from January, 2011

In case you didn’t know, I can tell a pretty dirty story. Make sure you come out to see me with Bawdy Storytelling this Thursday, October 20 for sex FAIL! You don’t want to miss one of these tales of sexual trainwrecks and when you’re here you won’t be able to tear yourself away from watching. I’m excited to perform at The Uptown and hopefully I have some good performance karma from the last time I took the stage there in nothing but pasties, a thong, and some rope.

If you miss me on Thursday, come out to MASQUEROTICA on Sat, October 22 in San Francisco. On this night of thrills, chills, and excitement for adults only I will be reigning as the vampire queen in my village of sex and death. This is the first annual Masquerotica and we’re glad to have a new event to fill the gap at the Exotic Erotic managed to create over the years. Costumes are mandatory for all attendees and if you’re lacking we will have emergency stylists ready to help you be a part of the fun. The stages are full of all kinds of mind blowing entertainment. I can certainly promise that the Vampire Village will be one of dark delights indeed.

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Filed under community, events, maggie mayhem, publicity, self promotion, theater


Come out and have fun!


I’ll be hosting a kinky party at San Francisco’s own Mission Control. The Threshold party is all about having fun in dungeon and surrounding yourself with good times and good people. Come on out and have a blast.

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Friday Quickies

Hey sex workers! Furry Girl is launching a new project dedicated to sex worker rights and she is looking for short personal stories, advice on how to be a good ally, and tips for clients who want to be ethical customers. The deadline is coming up quickly (May 27) but don’t let that frighten you! The word count requirements range from 70-120 words and sex workers of all stripes are welcome to submit.

I’ll be hosting an ultra-nerdy workshop on the science of orgasms on Tues, May 24. I’m so excited to be bringing in the PSIgasm that my partner and I have been working on to help show people what their orgasms look like from a geekier point-of-view. I’m really excited to get the PSIgasm project off the ground and the best way I could think to do so would be to start teaching people more about what happens when they come. This workshop will be the first public demonstration of how the device works so I’ll be grabbing cocktails after the workshop and all attendees are welcome to come along and ask questions.

It’s the Rapture (again) and I’ll be attending the West Coast Rapture RAM alongside other heathens, skeptics, and free thinkers. The lineup looks great and I’m excited to see Greta Christina speak as well as everyone else on the line-up. I’m glad to stumble onto a local (and affordable) event. It’s been my wish to attend The Amaz!ing Meeting for several years now but I can never actually afford a ticket to get inside. If you liked my post about Penn Jillette, I would be much obliged if you could help me get out to see him speak at this event for skeptics and freethinkers. Seriously, I really want to go and I’ll love you forever/film a custom video set/pull a public prank of some variety/negotiate if you can help me get out to TAM in Vegas this summer.

At any rate, if you see me out at the conference come say HI! I like people, especially people at conferences for atheists and skeptics hosted during the rapture.

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Filed under About me, activism, publicity, self promotion

UC LGBTQIA Western Regional Conference 2011

Jazz the Cat, Guard Kitty #1

I’ll be sitting on a panel at the UC LGBTQIA Western Regional Conference this weekend at UC Berkeley. It’s a fantastic event that I attended as an undergrad in 2004 and 2005. I had so much fun and I’m excited to come back on the other side as a speaker and panelist. I’m looking forward to it! There are registrations for walk-in’s this Saturday the 5th so if you want to join in there is still time. The list of workshops is awesome. I’ll be chatting about kinky sex (of course) but I’m also going to be hitting up some of the other more anti-assimilationist workshops as well. If you see me out and about, say hi. I like people.

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Filed under activism, politics, self promotion

Lady Porn Day: Pre-Game Commentary

Photo courtesy of DivineBitches.Com featuring Ned. Graphic by me!

The only thing certain about pornography is that it’s complicated.

Feb 21-26 will be a celebration of lady porn organized by Rabbit White. Even before the project got out the gate it began inspiring conversation: Maymay and Remittance Girl both commented on the graphics produced by rabbit to help promote the event. This led to tweets, emails, and an abundance of discourse. If the pre-game commentary is any indicator, Lady Porn Week is going to be an exciting ride.

The early critics said a lot of things, but the overwhelming message wasn’t really about the promotional graphics for Lady Porn Day themselves. It was about the fact that when someone says the word porn the overwhelming majority of  people will probably think of a naked white chick. That’s a problem. When I saw the early images I didn’t think of it as a limitation at all. To the contrary, I thought that it was the perfect way to launch the conversation because of this one social experiment: Take off your safe search feature on Google, go to image search, and type in the phrase “porn.”

What you’re looking at is the whole reason I was so excited about Lady Porn Day in the first place. A giant concentrated conversation about porn happening for a week. It’s like telecommuting to a conference! Referrals to awesome porn you wouldn’t necessarily know of the keywords to search for on Google. A glimpse at some hot images that don’t make the popular circulation. Maybe some crazy opinionated sex bloggers going off on rants about hymens. Porn isn’t just skinny white women, that’s the whole point. We’re here (I post a lot of pictures of my naked body here) and we can be hot and spicy and smart and sexy but we’re not alone. We don’t own sex. “Good Pornography” is being defined by a flawed rubric; one that values the perspective of a limited audience only. The numbers don’t reflect who buys “porn.” The number reflects who is buying porn almost solely produced by white heterosexual men.

Sexuality is just one facet of the infinite diversity of the human experience; I’m always trying to hear and collect these stories as stars in my pocket like grains of sand.  Sexual fantasies can only be numbered by that impractical and irrational symbol of infinity. It was exciting to hear responses about Lady Porn Day from the get-go with people asking critical questions about viewership exclusion. We talk about how accessible porn is but then we forget that finding exactly what you want is a difficult task. If you watch porn and you have attempted to search for it on the internet it is likely that you have run into the ill effects of keyword saturation and monopolization. The internet is not a meritocracy. The internet isn’t even a democracy like so many people. (On the other hand, it does actually function the way that democracy does in practice.)

I’ve been asked a few times about my thoughts regarding the pre-game commentary. To be quick, I liked them. I took the Lady Porn Day landing page to be a starting point that was going to be filled with more images, more thoughts, and more ideas. What I found fascinating are the conventions of “safe for work” imagery that can contain nude women in some contexts but never nude men. The original crop of images for LPD featured some content that probably came from a fashion spread rather than an explicitly erotic work of art. (Air quotes hanging over the word fashion.) Found alone on a work computer, many of those images could land your average employee in some trouble at work even though you could probably find it again sitting in the office waiting room inside a copy of Vogue. Yes, the images she used for promotion at the start were skinny white women. Thing of it is, not only are they the most abundant they are also much more likely to be considered “safe for work.” We’re much more comfortable with skinny naked white women. That doesn’t make these images “the best” (as if there were such a thing) or “the sexiest.” It makes these images the most photographed and that raises all kinds of questions for me.

  • Why is some nudity more taboo than others?
  • How does skin color change the way a viewer will receive nudity?
  • Why is an erect penis patently pornographic?
  • How do privilege and gaze interact with one another?
  • Is pornography a matter of intent or context?
  • Is there such a thing as “objectively good porn?”
  • What does it mean to have power over images of your sexuality?
  • What can we do to put our fantasies (all fantasies) aside to insure that all workers are treated fairly and safely within their workplace?
  • Are ethics between porn production and porn consumption different?
  • Why do we still act as though Hay’s Code is an objective and empirical means of identifying obscenity?
  • Why are the overwhelming majority of sex bloggers white women?
  • When it comes to talking about pornography, how can I step up? How should I step back?
  • How can I make sure that I am heard and that my needs are met?
  • How has my privilege impacted the way that I watch porn?
  • What is the difference between racist porn/mainstream porn/anti-racist porn?
  • How far can porn producers ethically extend the phrase, “That’s just what sells” in regards to racist/homophobic/sexist pornography and business practices?

Lady Porn Day was designed to elicit as many voices as possible and the written content of the project made this clear to me. I hope that you’ll take a look at what people are saying and jump in! Write a blog post, get on twitter, talk to your friends. To quote Rabbit herself, Lady Porn Day is:

“At it’s heart, this is about celebrating pornography and masturbation. It is an opportunity for ladies of all genders (or however you identify) to open up a dialog: What is feminist porn? What is your history with porn? What do you find hot?

And ultimately it’s a dare to share your hot links. Because the more we can openly talk about porn and what we like, the more likely it is that porn for women will continue being made. And really guys have been sharing and recommending porn for ages! So help a sister out.

I dare you to start the conversation, ask your friends: “hey what do you think about porn–and what sites can you recommend?” The point is to get women across the globe talking and thinking about porn and masturbation in a healthy and fruitful way.” [Lady Porn Day Text]


Filed under culture, events, lady porn day, opinion, politics, porn, self promotion, sexuality

Sushi Pics

At the Burnlesque party for SFSI this weekend I got to be a sushi platter for the guests. Here’s what it looked like!

Photo by Ned

Photo by Ned


Filed under Photos, Pics, pictures, self promotion